OFWs & Infidelity : Gaano Nga Ba Kadalas Ang Minsan?

Kapag Palay na Lumapit sa Manok (When the Chicken Comes to the Rice Instead) (2011)

Oil (91x3.8x91 cm), Paul Hilario

People say that cheating is inevitable in relationships. Whether you're a few months in or been together for 6 years - when the itch comes, there comes a point where you just have to scratch.

Or as a Tagalog saying goes, "Mas madaling hulihin ang manok na nakatali. Wag ka nga lang magpapahuli sa may-ari." [It's easier to catch a chicken who is tied, just don't let the owner catch you]. 

With OFWs, away from families and prone to bouts of homesickness - we're more vulnerable. It's actually so known that it's part of the standard lecture for newcomers, never to trust a kabayan saying he/she's not committed at face value. In the age of Facebook and other social media platforms, you don't have any excuse to not do your homework. 

Before even thinking of starting a relationship, one must prove one's status through:

1. Be vetted by at least two (2) uninterested parties;

2. Be able to furnish an NSO certified CENOMAR (certificate of no marriage) or proof of annulment; 

3. Add you to their original social media accounts; and/or

4. Verify with your HR department (if colleague).

Char. Dami diba, but if you can prepare thoroughly for a PRC exam or any kind of test, why can't you do the same for your future partner in life?

Sabi nga ni Warren Buffet: 

"You want to associate with people who are kind of the person you'd like to be. You'll move in that direction. And the most important person by far in that respect is your spouse. I can't overemphasize how important that is.

Marry the right person. I'm serious about that. It will make more difference in your life."

However, all will be moot if you already know that the person you like/love/ in lust with is married. 

So why do we know it and still go through with it? 

Here are 10 possible reasons why:

1. 80% of the year we're away from our families. We're homesick, we're lonely and it's cold during the winter and hard during the holidays.

2. Disillusionment. Most OFWs are breadwinners, sending most of their salaries to their families back home. They see their partners squander their hard-earned money on luxuries while their kids don't do well in school or badly influenced by peers. You'd think won't it be easier to just start over.... with someone else?

3. Marital dynamics; when it's the women who earn more and 'toxic' Filipino machismo poisons the heart and mind. 

4. Proximity -  majority of OFWs live in shared accommodations to save on rent. It's a money-saving move but it's a cheating arrangement waiting to happen (if the heart is easily tempted).

5. The dating pool is limited for singles. Those you won't even dream of dating back home looks comely after some time while all the good -looking ones are either taken or gay. Bottomline is, it's every person for oneself - "matira ang matibay".

6. "Kapag palay na ang lumapit sa manok, bakit di pa tukain?"

7. Since we're all away from home, everybody becomes tolerant, accepting even, of these so-called "arrangements". Nobody tattles, because of well, "pakikisama";

8. Victims of infidelities or escaped from abusive partners;

9. Environment. If you're all in the same age at home, everyday's basically a party. If you don't choose the people you surround yourself with, temptations will surely pop up in every corner.

10. Falling out of love.

It's truly a big risk and not just for long-distance relationships. However, in all situations, you always have a choice. You have the choice to not open your heart up, nobody can tempt you if you believe in yourself, your family and the love and respect your have for your partner. All relationships require work, emotional and financial investment. And say you're crumbling under familial obligations, who's to say you're not just jumping from the frying pan and into the fire?

Being in a foreign land does not mean you have to lose your values and principles just to survive and adapt.

And if all else fails, just remember: adultery can get you deported and is punishable under Philippine law. You might not get caught right away but any partner with the right skills can turn into CID with the proper motivation.

But if you're still insisting that love trumps all despite knowing that your partner is married and has kids - well then good luck to ya, Because in the end if you get dumped, all you can do is just go on Facebook Live, sing your jeje heart out with hugot songs + Neneng B and spout religious nonsense while all your family and friends are bombarded with details of just how much of a homewrecker you are until EVERYBODY knows --- then it's only karmic justice.

Too specific? HEHEHEHE.